Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
