5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
