Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
