I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
