I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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