Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Who died my cat blue again?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
