My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
