Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
