this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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