Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
this just has baby written all over it
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
