ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
