remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
