He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
