So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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