oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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