3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
