if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
