Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
