Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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