trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
