Yo dont text me then not text me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
