you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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