Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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