I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Randomize
