listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
