I'm drive I can fine osifer
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
