we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
