I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize