I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
