Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
