I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
