He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize