I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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