A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
