singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
