i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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