Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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