so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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