I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
