my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
