Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.