Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize