She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
