new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
where are you?
Hypothermia
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
