She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
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Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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