Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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