What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
