I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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