she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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