do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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