Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize