Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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