i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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