I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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