A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
