There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
