Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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