it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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