I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
