No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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